they came at us with fireworks while we were skinny dipping in her jacuzzi at 4 am...
Your lack of a response has proven you've clearly forgotten how crazy I am.
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE GAY FRIEND?!?!
Dude that girl I hooked up with Tuesday is in lecture. I told her I was from the Dominican visiting my cousin and was leaving the next day. Hiding under my hood and hangover.
His cuteness will no longer contol my vagina
They're making him take his shirt off cause they think he's the bouncer. We're in his backyard.
So the bartender tried kicking me out but i screamed im an RA you cant kick me out
I'm sensing a Yuletide blow job in your future and by future I mean tomorrow
im not trying to sound dramatic, but im covered in microwavable lasagna
If I got everything I wanted in the world, I would have been forcing soup down your throat hours ago
He sent me a text from across the party that said "your sexy." I just couldn't.
I just want to dump glitter on my floor and roll in it like a cat in catnip.
I screenshoted his dick pic the other day because it literally looked like a brontosaurus. Like that really tall dinosaur that eats grass. Like I wanna draw a face on it.
Just woke up with only a scarf and my uggs on. i hate partying naked in winter.
I just puked into a clean basket of laundry.
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