using no condom is gross. my vagina has a dress code.
Thanks for the three minutes of sex tonight.
your tears are not going to buy me drinks...
Just because he saw my boobs doesn't mean he knows me all of a sudden
The only thing I really remember is repeating "I hope I still have a job on Monday". Oh and pulling my boob out of my dress.
So I take it the company Christmas dinner went well then...
I'm a little nervous about this St. Patty's Day party. Seriously, we're still finding stuff from the Halloween party.
I had my first sober conversation with his roommate. I remembered half way through that the first time we met I was getting fucked on his counter
im like basted in vodka, i went tanning and it was like i was an alcoholic turkey being cooked in a locker of doom
Today is a wonderful day to be mildly hungover
I told him I was going to sit on his face after I got out of the shower, he threw up the arm boners and yelled "STEVE HOLT!!" I might actually stop sleeping with other dudes.
I was just trying to be a good friend but in retrospect I probably shouldn't have pepper sprayed you.
If I send Ben a tit pic but I do it while wearing a Tom Brady mask is that funny or creepy
Stay strong! Remember we're too uncoordinated to be strippers to make money instead of being a nurse
You came into the club around midnight with a carton of tropicana o.j. & said you were starting a revolution.
But unlike the human Walter the plant Walter will someday grow to satisfy my needs
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