just thought you should know that she got home at about 6am.... totally wasted. she was locked out and when i finally came to the door she was on a patio across the street with some random making hotdogs on somebodys elses bbq.
i need a shirt that says "I fuck trainwrecks"
HOLY SHIT! Did you see the dick on that Great White Shark?!?!?!
New first...just saw an entire family of homeless hitch hikers...kids and all. God, i love Oklahoma!
She had the hiccups when she was giving me head. It was actually pretty awesome
There are only families here. I'm at the bar alone double fisting drinks. You cannot get any more approachable than I am now.
You just kept holding your breath for a really long time and calling it lung excersizes.
Fuck your 100 proof Hot Damn. Do you know what 100 proof vomit tastes like? Anger.
HE'S EATING THE CONFETTI. STOP HIM NOW.
I'm like a magical alcohol dispenser. I pulled this kahlua out of my vagina.
We called dibs on each other's genitals. That bond is unbreakable.
I'm not saying you did or didn't sleep with him but he's has your thong hanging from his ceiling fan
You're an idiot. I have LIVED as a cautionary tale of what happens when you drink too much and stick your dick in crazy, HAVE YOU LEARNED NOTHING?
Well I woke up and my arm was bleeding. And my blood is on the wall in the hallway.
Umm
No idea. I blame fireball.
Valid.
He looks like a Mormon from a lifetime movie. Oddly I wanna give him a hand job
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