summer is not the time to consider going full bush.
I'm so drunk that I ordered a root beer at the bar. Whoops?
video games are the ultimate cock blocker
Do you think my bosses would frown upon Jameson with breakfast on this holiest of days?
I just want to go some place where I can have a nice night. Grind on men who speak no English, make out with a girl, and not feel judged.
There are 144 bottles of wine in my mother's pantry. She just shrugged her shoulders and said it was for the wine pong tournament on Christmas Day.
Holy walk of shame. Fuck someone's house. I walked past a family eating their free continental breakfast wearing yesterday's makeup
She kept talking about how amazing the banana she had yesterday was. Don't know if it was innuendo, stoned, or just a really amazing banana.
Dave when you find that upper decker at your house its from me but its for Jill not you
So not the biggest tits he had his cock between. He could have lied.
What we have is to special to throw away over a woman who spreads her butt cheeks on a pool table for me...
You think you're smart. You're pretending to be asleep to save yourself from my hormonal pms mood swings. Unfortunately that only works against bears.
I AM A GOOD PERSON AND THEREFORE I DESERVE QUALITY DICK!
Cum just came out of my nose. That is all.
Last night I made out with two lesbians while dancing with another girl. I'm pretty sure it wasn't even real life.
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