Hi, this is ****, we hooked up a few weeks ago. I was wondering, do you have any STDs?
Party in the USA is so catchy!
Yea, so is AIDS.
how come everytime i call mom shes doing tequila shots
I say we get drunk before the exam tomorrow. At least then we have a valid excuse for failing.
deryk tried to steal your screen door and i think sam and brent are duct taping lauren to the diving board.
I think I'm gonna wear a bikini to our final tomorrow...just so he knows that no fucks will be given on his test
Awee what are you going to name your new dog?
What dog?
I'm not sure what step "make amends" is, but my phone is on
Currently at a fetish club with a set of swings (don't ask). Having flashbacks to the park by my house
Nothing like waking up and watching Dr. Phil and masturbating. It's like a protein shake for the day.
And the view of you in reverse cowgirl is arguably the most spectacular view ever... And I've seen the Eiffle tower, the colosseum, mountains of Hawaii, Michaelangelo's David, and the Mona Goddamn Lisa. Just saying.
I climbed up on the tank of the toilet so I could take a slo-mo vid of myself pissing into the garbage can, but the base of the toilet shattered and I had to bail.
He does have a nice smile. I also like to think he has a nice penis, but that's just a prediction.
I shall relish in being the most basic of bitches
If I wasn't planning on spend the rest of my life with you I wouldn't send you so many nudes, so fucking appreciate it
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