And she was only 16?
You say that like it's a bad thing.
Is it bad to go up to the security desk and ask them for the name of the guy I signed in last night? I have absolutley no clue
He told me he doesn't dance and he hates drunken excitement. Why I ever thought it would work is beyond me.
a girl just walked by me crying on the phone saying, "all I ever do is menstruate"
we weren't quite sure what was on that mirror, so we snorted it and hoped for the best
The key to alley sex is drunkeness.
she just blew up the empty bag of wine and used it as a floatation device.
if you ever get a chance to, fuck in a lecture hall. great acoustics. highly recommend it.
I have whiskey and jager. There's no telling what kind of monster will emerge
I really hope your new roommate never finds out we had a threesome with a bisexual British guy in his room the night before he moved in.
Stop making Mac and cheese and sit on his face. FINISH HIM
Look bro I'll go half per boob with you, we split her.
Dude did I even see you at the bar. Cause I was for sure there then the next second apparently I was crying next to my Christmas tree because nobody believed in me.
I am the Angelina Jolie to his Billy Bob Thorton. We just don't work.
Someone keeps hanging up bible verse posters in the bathroom stall I masturbate in at work.
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