That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
We had like 4 guys come over and buy us all drinks as an excuse to hit on Kendra. Hanging out with her is now officially fiscally responsible.
I KNOW you don't honestly think you can pay me back in lotto tickets.
I truly believe that the solid foundation of any healthy relationship is a drunken one night stand so I can just get all the nasty shit out on the table
I just want you to know that i just realized your the only friend i dont feel fat around.
No i peed with you in the toilet. The guy I high fived was mid pee in front of the urinal
The kid I'm babysitting just asked if I had a boyfriend. WHY IS A FOUR YEAR OLD MAKING ME FEEL BAD ABOUT MY LIFE
If you can find a Canadian Lesbian to have pity sex with me, let me know.
See what happens when I don't get laid? I make poor life decisions, like buying baby ducks.
Baruch atah adonai DAT ASS DOE
I swear to god if you settle for a trump supporting packers fan, I will not acknowledge your children. You're better than that.
Omg no hes gotta go down on me. Then itll be like my vagina has kissed the stanley cup.
It's not my fault I make her feel like a Taylor Swift album
Be there in 6 mins I’m smell like fireball. and strippers and need to use your showers before go home
Things change once you put a ring on it. 5 years ago if I had morning wood she would have gone nympho on that. Now I am just lucky if she touches it rolling when we sleep.
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