i just went dwnstairs and there are 5 guys without their shirts on hugging each other. i think i should leave now
In the airport and just saw a little boy put his head in his mother's crotch... I guess he took a whiff because he backed up and said loudly, "mommy your pee-pee is stinky!"
I love having a boyfriend. I just ate pancakes with regular syrup and chocolate syrup, I havent shaved my legs in a week, and Im still going to get laid tonight.
fuck. you.
i'm not sure if i'm mentally prepared for this.. politeness? proper grammar? book reader ? this is a whole new meaning of the species penis for me.
Yeah well my vagina has expectations too but they don't get met all the time.
I was in the freezer we were knocking over shit. Speaking of which i asked my boss. I can hook up with girls in the freezer
Yeah just sayin. Whenever you want to come over and wank me off you can
They're tearing apart the house I lost my virginity in:(
my binge eating and her being stoned all the time has reduced us to a bowl of chinese candies, frozen bacon and a stick of butter, we do however have enough alcohol to start our own liquor store.
I should rephrase... I'm trying to not sit on other peoples faces besides my boyfriends.
the only thing I remember was some guy took out his fake eye to use it for beer pong
My mom just walked in on me naked taking a shit and packing a bowl...the only comment she makes is, she wants her Tupperware back after my pot's out of it. Best mom ever.
It's all fun and games until your in the alumni campus center puking on the floor
I need a sign that says “please don’t make plans with me if I’ve had two or more drinks. I will regret them. I will have bitter feelings towards you. Then I will cancel and feel guilty.”
all I know is that I was naked, and there were cheeto puffs everywhere...
Guy just rode past on a lowrider bike smoking a blunt, I want his life
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