So is chris hansen cool in person? Or is it just awkward while you wait for the cops?
my brother is a facebook fan of two things: God, and Rhianna. if he's not a prime example of the rare "baptist closeted gay," i don't know who is.
girls just need to accept the fact that i'm going to make out with their boyfriends
did i call you last night crying about tacos and the royal wedding again?
I kept reassuring him that I was easy like Sunday morning, not easy like "I've had 6 shots of tequila and haven't had sex in three months"
I demanded respect from my fuck buddy. Drunk me is not fun.
I can now tell my grandchildren Central Park has really great spots for quickies...
He asked me out while I'm back in town. I have to acknowledge and honor his persistence.
Your vagina must be laced with cocaine...
Apparently campus cops frown on lighting a joint off of the eternal flame on Jerry Falwell's grave...
I just overheard this sorority girl saying "It's like trick or treting but for alcohol and with no costumes." I'm jealous.
Your children are clinging to me like my teets are full of bountiful milkiness. They're driving me nuts. I felt my uterus shrivel up.
just in the smoking shack with my sister cheering on a caterpillar make its cocoon
She gave you a handy in the bar and you were surprised she was good with a dick?
Hahah good point
If he can't cook well I'm just gonna buy a RealDoll and twenty cats and live my own fucking life
thanks for the bj man. also make sure you close the gate behind you. the chickens are out.
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