In the airport and just saw a little boy put his head in his mother's crotch... I guess he took a whiff because he backed up and said loudly, "mommy your pee-pee is stinky!"
This is the 4 year anniversary of the last time I shit my pants. Let's get drunk...
I dont want to tell you. Lets just say that a lot of things are reminding me of your dick right now
And as far as being fat goes I just did like 20 minutes of p90x and now i'm eating frosting out of the container....
So I think I might just embrace the awkwardness and say he fingerblasted her cause thats the greatest word in existence
Thanks for fucking me in last night
TUCKING. TUCKING ME IN LAST NIGHT
I'm smoking in a kimono on the couch. Bring me gin.
Wish me luck. My vagina needs it.
May his noodley appendage touch you.
My life has turned into sitting in the driveway listening to Total Eclipse of the Heart while staring at the Blue Moon. Hey, August. Let's be nice. I need help.
She asked me if I would fuck her with my storm trooper mask on
Good luck. While you're suffocating on a dick, I'll be eating pizza rolls. Being a good girl.
Getting high with your mom, but thinking of you!
I apologize for there being a shopping cart in the living room. I don't know how why or where i got it.
Who in their right mind would frost a cake with their butt?
You don't make any sense
TEQUILA
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