The only good thing about ohio is that i can get 2 half gallons of soco for 40 bucks
i just called. the lady was really nice. something tells me my schools clinic gets a lot of calls about chlamydia
not sure how we got back down, broken rib says we didn't use stairs
Well it was 11am and we were walking to the market with red cups in our hands yelling NO JUDGEMENT at every car that passed
He tried to finger me at Disneyland! He tried to taint the happiest place on earth!
Is shaving my mustache contingent on you sleeping over tonight?
You were so excited to be getting 4 tickets to the Whale Rodeo.... That high
Your either lost or getting food, if your lost find me a girl on your way back, if your getting food grab me a double cheese
Brown or brunette? Ketchup or mustard?
I love you bro
She just kept introducing me to people by telling them which of their friends I've fucked
I forgot how easy it is to have sex in public when you're wearing a dress. Thank you global warming.
He's on the bus now and took off his Amish hat so just his long ginger beard is present. Goodbye, majestic Amish ginger. Go forth and represent your minority well.
Only ESPN could find the two ugly girls from a school in Florida
Russell is lonely. He needs a companion.
You're lucky you have a monster cock or most people may just laugh at your penis' nickname.
Someone drank my pedialite!
YOU drank your pedialite. I watched you chase shots with it!
Autocorrect changes "sex" to "sec". I have been so long without it my phone thinks I made a mistake.
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