oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
Somebody spraypainted a transformers head on a transformer box..my life is complete
Why does my right nut always hang lower than my left nut?
forgot a fork. i am eating fettucini alfredo with a comb that i rinsed off the the bathroom sink. eating alone in my car. life doesn't get any sadder than this
Next time we go to the river, we nominate you to flash people for free booze. Your tits are the biggest.
He gave me his business card. It was a Justin Bieber trading card with his number written in sharpie. I have to call him don't I?
Great I'll forever be branded as gym slut at the new gym.
someone who i have in my phone as thundercock just said he was DTF
Well for number 40 i would prefer to at least like the guy attached to the dick
Thanks for letting me in last night. I was drunkenly sleepwalking.
AFTER I licked the bald guys head they told me we weren't playing
I'm still pretty stoned. There are mini rice cakes in my robe pocket to snack on in the shower.
Hey, don't think you remember me but we met last night. I'm conducting a survey this morning its only one question: Have you seen Rob since 1am?
The more time I spend surrounded by Mormons, the more I miss alcohol.
His name was toto. That should have been my red flag
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