they say Disney World is the happiest place on Earth. It's a close second to the Super 8 on route 18. That place holds some great memories.
its like an ocean threw up right in your lap
i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i still was a whore
I love reading their "i love you more" , "no i love you more" war on facebook today knowing that he hooked up with me last night. I bet i know who wins that one.
whos cum tastes better, a guy who drinks apple juice or cranberry juice?
Holy shit bill nye is being consulted as an expert on cnn and hes credited as the science guy. What the fuck is the world coming to?
I don't know how much more of summer my liver can take.
I am at 2.05 miles in under 11 minutes. So either this thing is broke or I should always work out wasted.
i left after you tried to balance a shot of tequila on your head while screaming at the bar tender that you fucked his girlfriend
How do I explain the handcuffs and tanning goggles on our living room floor? There's rope too. The cats love the rope.
We lost you in the mall, but to no surprise we found you waiting in line to sit on santas lap. You said you wanted to ask him for a pound of weed and a subway giftcard for xmas.
Abort mission; I repeat: Abort mission.I found an attractive one.
Meanwhile she's getting her law degree and I'm dropping Cool Ranch Doritos down my bra because I'm laying down eating on the couch
You had me on my knees catching cheese balls in my mouth and moaning. In front of all your friends.
It is not a successful senior year unless you show up to campus without pants at least once, right?
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