I accidentally burped into my bong.
yeah it's now facebook official. i can no longer pretend shes my girl on the side
I love the progression of these pictures. I go from cute to Courtney Love
A horse told me not to drive home last night. I think there was a cop on top of it.
Remember the girl passed out in front of my fireplace?
you think that next time i come over to do this you can pick up the condom wrappers you used on the other girls
Dude he's not responding... I'll take that as an unpleasant visit to the clinic
Babysitting for someone you accidently sent nudies to is so fucking awkward.
We ended up debating which Food Network host would do best in porn.
the cops accepted 42 wallaby way Sydney. and the cops, and cab driver accepted the new address. please tell the win i am experiencing
I woke up in a tow truck cuddling plan b. Can you pick me up?
The selfie stick gets 5 stars bc it really added a fun element to my sex tape
wtf guys I thought we agreed on no more knives. So much for not destroying the house
That same damn squirrel keeps staring at me like I did something wrong. Nature knows when you're hung over.
Who the hell tries to steal eggnog.
Randomize
