yeah. and then it was like the room of requirement. the elevator just opened for our threesome.
Just bored and untired. I want to be in Austin. At college. Drinking someone elses alcohol. Am I asking too much of life?
Guess who got arrested for public drunkiness, and called jimmy johns for the entire station last night instead of someone to bail me out? The cop that arrested me drove me home. Win.
Medical school killed my enjoyment of porn. Hard to keep a boner when you're diagnosing all the actor's STDs and skin disorders.
This smoking ban is really fucking with my ability to fart in public
I asked her if she was the outdoorsy type, she replied "I had sex on a fourwheeler once, does that count?"
is it just my freshly shaved vagina or is the guy at the end of the table pretty cute??
You were hugging the toilet and shouting "don't let fatty eat me" through the closed door.
My roomate asked me why she found condoms in the pringles container. I don't know what to tell her
I saw him walking to campus with his beer in his hand in the same sweats he wore walking to campus with a beer in his hand yesterday.
admittedly, it's a little weird getting relationship advice from the mother of a former one night stand. but she's a wise lady and she buys me drinks, so i'm ok with it.
I was at a hookups house and peed in his sink so I wouldn't wake up his mom... drunk me is on a different level
But on a side note, how the fuck do you "accidentally " get peed on
Fuck. I did it again. I plugged in my toaster and walked away thinking it needed to preheat. I am dumb.
Shame - the story of my life.
Randomize
