if there is a rhyme for it it must be true
DUDE DUDE I JUST GOT TH E BEST IDEA FOR A CHILDRENS BOOK "If You Give A Girl A Blow Job"
Look at the bright side...I have an 11 inch penis
why is my clorox wipe dispenser full of tortillas?
complete strangers are now referring to me as 'the bourbon guy.' i can live with this.
Dude, you walked in on me 5 times each times you had a different person with you. And each time you lifted the covers up and said 'whats going on in here'
Thank God I did Vegas bombs with those cops at their Christmas party. We should so be in jail.
The bouncer called to give me my shoes back when I got there he said " I'm all cool with fuvking bitches but when you try to to do it in my bar on the pool table you're gonna get chocked out every time"
At least you got your shooes
scream really loud. we think you crawled under the deck
A guy is going to be inside me and I'm gunna start singing "I am stuck on your penis, cause your penis is stuck in meeee!"
To be clear, the next time I wake up with your dick inside me, I will reach down and grab one and squeeze until it pops like a grape. You've been warned.
I feel like parents watching our children. You want to step in and help them but you just have to let them make their mistakes
Ok let me just clear up this blowjob thing first so we can talk about your grandpa
I think this bruise on my arm is actually an impression of your face
Fine I'll cuddle you but only for the purpose of trying to survive
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