erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
well apparently i yelled MY VAGINA WAS ANNIHILATED and his whole family heard
you're the one who masterbates every night to the titanic soundtrack
i just saw her new tattoo, how much more trashy can you get than having "taste the rainbow" on your body for the rest of your life?
I feel like a squirrel prepping for the winter on dollar beer nights.
who were those guys at the table sniffing dryer sheets?
I should not be in class today. For the professors sake.
Im otw to class. I was at the Library. Just past three girls with a bottle of tequila playing dizzy bat.
You take a step back sometimes and are like "when was the last time I was sober?" or "wow I need to stop putting everything in my vagina"
Is this an intervention?
My heart feels like a grape in a barrel about to be crushed into wine
I just want to have sex that doesn't end like a B-rated horror movie.
My mom just said we can't get married in nude body suits to look like earthworms. She's ruining my life.
Sometimes being bisexual is a curse. Turns out I banged both of her older twin brothers last summer.
Accidentally made a bowl of macaroni and cheese with a bottle of vodka. It's not that bad
Pillow talk was a high five, this morning she made dinosaur muffins for the house. I love chapel hill
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