there's just something about her that screams "i'm into chicks who wear flannel"
The bender is in full force. After 2 bloody mary's at breakfast we are now drinking vodka redbull "as a precaution" so we will stay awake for the club tonight.
we need to stop having unprotected sex.
ya i know. we're like the secret life of the american whores.
Oh it's happening. I'm Chugging a beer while sitting next to a 6 year old
Eberyones makin fun of me cuz I found a snail and caught him and put him in a bocks for u
I heard you were walking home with taylor with your dress completely up and your ass exposed
Yeah, that sounds like my life.
Marshall is naming all the elements of my face. I love science nerds.
It looks like I murdered a care bear and put its blood in my hair to warn the others off.
They were swingers. Real swingers. Thought it was going to be awesome until some fat guy tried to put my dick in his mouth.
Someone drunkenly cleaned and organized my car last night... Nothing's missing, so that's a plus.
As I was puking, these 2 guys started peeing next to me chanting me on
I can't wait to get home and brush the fuck outta my teeth.
Literally.
but I truly enjoy making out with my best friend more than my boyfriend
Well, you were never considered a shining example of sobriety anyway
Cat needed to get out last night. Walking to the door was too much effort so I encouraged (pushed) him to leave via window.
Isn't your room on the second floor?
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