so when am I gonna get some from you?
when you dick grows 3 inches
With the way things had been going, I was never more excited for a person to cum
she quoted hannah montana in her facebook status. i will never be speaking to her in person again.
so I got guilt tripped into giving her a new years kiss, and she proceeded to try and eat my face while mounting me. when you give a mouse a cookie...
Heyyyy darlin are you busy?
Why hello drunk Jake. It's sober Sarah, I'll tell drunk Sarah you booty called. She'll probably be around tomorrow night.
im pretty sure while i was fucking her my dog was fucking her dog too
Just called the bar: "hi this is the girl who you kicked out for excessive bleeding, do you happen to have my coat?"
You basically tried to anal probe my passed out friend with a lamp
It's official. Hawaii is 100% better when you're stoned.
I thought it was a myth but I have just reached the age of sitting on my balls. Not a fan.
I'll be gone when you wake up but you hit a girl so I knocked you out. Never hit a girl. Unless it's with your penis.
I seriously doubt this is the first time pumpkin pie has led to a booty call.
He sent me a picture of Reese's peanut butter cups next to his dick. Of course I went over.
I've officially slept with/dated two guys that have gotten tased. What the fuck is wrong with me
that lady just saw me taking a picture of her baby... It's time to leave.
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