My boss' voice literally gives me gas
I'm sorry, but there's just something about mesh over nipples that irks me.
Besides Rainforest Cafe, there's nowhere i'd rather be intoxicated than here
i was blowing him and "what if god was one of us" came on his playlist. I had to leave
in the middle of it he kept shouting: im going to be masturbating to this for the rest of my life
I just noticed that when I sneeze...my nipples get hard.
bro i finally banged her last night on our basement couch
I'm at this frat party right now and yelled "my little 16 year old brother finally lost his virginity." They gave you a standing ovation
you were sitting on your bed looking out the window, rocking back and forth naked, saying how peaceful it looked outside
There is a slip-n-slide in the hallway and a girl just did it topless cuz I told her it was my birthday. Where are you?
Dude you don't even know. I spilled the tequila and it took 4 people to stop me from drinking it off the table.
Ya bro it was wild. Hey, is latex digestible?
THIS CHICK IS LIKE SOME SORT OF HOOKER HOUDINI.
We have an albino peacock in our apartment. It's beautiful.
Scratch it being beautiful, bitch just stole my McDonalds. Call animal control.
Parade of Dicks...that's what I'm calling 2017
You almost lost your european virginity to a Peruvian man waering a do-rag in a port-a-potty.
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