This old guy in denny's is sitting alone and he is looking at us and laughing for no reason
Most of the time people just stick whatever they want in my mouth. Thanks for letting me decide this time
look what he's done to me, i actually want to be a stripper now.
So last week was the 4th time a girl cried after sex. I'm seriously doing something wrong
keep an eye on me. i'm afraid that after a few more drinks i'll ask to borrow his wheelchair.
well you decided to make everyone "drinks" which was sprite and beer mixed.
He's a Shit stain on my heart
Until this weekend, a man hadn't made me orgasm since the night Obama was elected. Now THAT is change I can believe in.
Spent fifteen minutes in the car thinking i was psychic before i realized the cd was not on shuffle
I remember grabbing your ass. So firm. So right. I don't regret it.
With great boredom comes great irresponsibility.
Please tell me you're not on their roof again..
This morning when you were fucking me you said you'd go to the store and get me tampons and a 30 pack
We just had sex in the shed while having a conversation about cheeseburgers...so that's how my day is going
Once upon a time I threw up in my own hands last night.
He told me to grab his penis so I did and swung it around and said “awe, it looks like the wacky inflatable tube man.
Randomize
