# days @ Coachella: 1 people i showed how to break it down: 279
Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
Currently listening to 'Just Put it in Your Mouth.' remember when i went through that phase?
But I don't consider them one night stands. They're auditions.
I just googled "semen solvent" and got nothing. there has to be something that will wash this shit off!
I see a marketing opportunity
they just tried to tell me they weren't big into drugs. A) it was the 70's. B) I've seen the pictures.
We saw a kid playing in poison ivy. We walked away, he'll learn his lesson.
why do the even put the "Please drink responsibly" on tequila ads? like has anything responsible ever come from tequlia. No. never.
I don't understand but I fell asleep naked holding a tub of cool whip and a boiled egg
Needing to keep one leg on the floor during sex so you dont spin should qualify for some kind of drunk award.
This just spotted: a bagpiping Elmo on the street.
He's socially awkward. He has a big dick. We've had this talk before, they're socially awkward because they don't leave the house they just sit home and play with it.
she gave me her number and i just said "no. cant."
I think it's time for a new pick up line. So far my " hey you want to go back to my place, order a pizza and fuck?" Has set me at an all time low downtown 0/4
He lured me round with the prospect of sex and then made me proofread his CV and spoon. I fucking hate this guy.
Randomize