Sitting in class thinking wow im glad im not hungover...and then i realized im still drunk.
With sake I got over my irrational fear of seafood. Now I just fear sake.
can't wait for January to be Over so I don't have to see all the fat resolutionists working out.
Yeah like at least with a penis what you see is what you get with a vagina there can always be a surprise inside
its coolsest when we hear the beat in our water bottles. and the likghts are in his eyes now. oh holland
I'd rather make snow angels in a pool of elephant shit.than sleep with him.
Why would I send you a picture of it when I could just steal the gnome and put it in your bed with you? Admit it, he looks just like gnomeo!
there's a drunk hobo under the bridge wearing a jester hat and screaming at women
My eczema on my back is flaring up so he rubbed coconut oil on it while we were boning down. If that's not a picture of 8 years married I dunno what is.
I just want a boyfriend who will have sex to Disney Pandora.
Today I learned that when you lick a mans butthole, you get wined and dined at a nice french restaurant.
I don't wanna shit myself again in 2015
so evidently blowing a guy does not mean he will say hi to you when he sees you in class.. in case you're ever wondering
I got so pissed i stormed off and threw his burrito on his windshield
The cards I get dealt on tinder now are karma for fucking a married man while I was in high school.
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