I have carpet burn on my ass, I'm rethinking my decisions last night.
Just ran to the store on my way to the office to buy Diet Coke...the guy in front of me let me cut because it was 4 more minutes until 8am, so he wouldn't be able to purchase his vodka. I love Wisconsin
Cruel joke of nature. Hair on head runs from face, and hides on various parts of body. Aging sucks.
Come over? It's my birthday
How many times has that text failed you tonight?
I was high enough to think chocolate sauce on bagel bites was a good idea
And to think..we used to do everything sober...
I'm getting very mixed reviews. One friend told me to stop drinking bc the last 3 times he's heard from me I've either peed my pants, been throwing up, or people have been having sex beside me.
Strangely enough I'm encouraging you to keep drinking for all the same reasons.
If I don't throw up the day I graduate i'll feel like the last 4 years and thousands of dollars spent on alcohol will have been wasted.
It's not quite a landing strip... It's more like a soul patch for my vagina.
My mom just called me to tell me that i dont have chlamydia. Awkward.
Im gonna take a shit then figure out how to be better at basketball
Drunk girl in a bikini just tried to bite my face, it's officially spring break
Also my face is like def lowkey made of silly putty
When he said he lived in a closet I thought he meant his room was really small or something... But he actually has a queen size mattress on the floor of his roomates walk-in closet.
My mom is coming to visit today & it's giving me anxiety. I feel like she can see through me & into the whore I've become.
Randomize
