I have a hot bod, but my face sucks, what can i do?
I haven't gotten laid in forever. I'm obsessed. I imagine I this is how Ethopians feel about food.
I thought I had fell out of his trailer but he says I tried to ninja kick his TV stand saying those girls hula hooping were trying to seduce him. There wasn't anyone else there.
I have your camera. You have 35 naked pictures of me. you're welcome.
I am not saying a eulogy for your vibrator.
We literally played a game called pass the child which consisted of us shitfaced tossing the 5 year old birthday boy at each other
I do believe at one point I was dispensing medical advice while wearing your sombrero and a hulk hand
We were licking ciroc off the poker table
You're a Heat fan? You lose any chance blowjob bc of your poor choice.
I just took a service station dump so foul I had to buy gas out of guilt
Im just confused who has their mom break up with someone
Nobody's dick fell into my mouth tonight
First post college job and I got fired within a week. Something tells me that adulthood isn't going to be as much fun as sex and the city led me to believe.
Give me one good reason why I should go with you.
Free beer.
..pick me up at 8.
she keeps trying to brush her hair with leaves and insisting she's not high
Randomize