Note to self: When getting ready to leave with a kid in a wheelchair don't say Let's roll
I am choosing my outfit based on how fast I can get it off. Please help.
i feel like my life has become an afroman song and idk whether i should be sad about that or not
as we were stuffing their 24 of beer into our bags you kept saying you wanted cheese strings. closest things we found were kraft singles. as the guys came up the stairs you kept screaming 'GET THE CHEESE! GET THE CHEESE!'
I'd like to say he was whispering sweet nothings into my ear all night but really he was just whispering "pussyyy"
Hold on there are flying pancakes I can't handle this right now
oh god all I remember is forward rolls down the corridor and all I have to show for it is "fit Romanian guy" saved in my phone
I had to break up with him he didn't understand my priorities. I'm sorry but Saturday nights are for pot and Doctor Who. I'm not going to change who I am.
We smoked speed and opium for the first time. ended up harvesting cucumbers with locals at 9am in a farmers field. Laos is fuckin crazy.
Water park on acid. THIS NEEDS TO HAPPEN!!
Most senic walk of shame ever. This is why you go to school in Hawaii.
So apparently blacked out me judges a man based on what type of dinosaur he would be...
I kinda took a step back after our "surprise bottles night"
THERE IS A VERY SMALL CHILD YELLING OUTSIDE OF MY DOOR. THE NEXT TIME YOU TELL ME YOUR TOO BIG FOR A CONDOM I'M GOING TO PUNCH YOU IN THE DICK.
she gave me a ride on the back of her motor scooter and i swooned so hard
omg it's like all of your grease 2 fantasies come true i'm so happy for you
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