The shirt is mine, the pants are mine, the bra not so much
How was last night?
She looked like Delta Burke in her fat Designing Women days ... and she just left like 2 minutes ago. Right after breakfast.
I'm shivering and sweating at the same time. Thanks a lot St. Patrick.
I hope you realize, I'm counting on you as my wingman next semester. It's your turn to advertise another man's penis. I did my tour all freshman year.
1. Are there men involved 2. Is there food involved 3. Do I have to put pants on 4. Do I have to leave this bed
This lumberjack with a huge beard is doing his group presentation in a dirty t shirt that says "I'm only 2 girls short of a threesome"
I just ran into the married chick you banged 2 years ago at our apt! She asked me if I could get her coke! Memories bro. Memories
He's basically wearing those Nike boner sweatpants. It's hard not to jump him. How has your day been?
Still at home. Videotaping hamsters.
Also the bouncer Straight up told me my id was shitty and I should get a new one. But he let me in anyways because #boobz
I last recall trying to play piano and asking justin for drugs. I would like to think I then gracefully laid down on the couch and shut my eyes like a sleeping kitten.
How dare sober me try to tell drunk me I can't eat the applesauce in the fridge! Stingy bitch IM EATING THE APPLESAUCE! you can tell sober me I said that.
I did not get pleasing results from googling “Bob Ross goat”
I want you inside me. Finish your papers.
How's work going?
Boring. I have a cat on a leash right now
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