is sleeping with your Political Science professor Politically incorrect?
Was he helping you 'cram' for your final, or just giving an oral exam?
Drank beer out of a hotwheels bucket all night
Yeah i'm definitely friends with drunk kyle, not sober kyle.
I looked at her and said "I now pronounce you pumpkin tits"
how opposed are you to picking me up at the bar at 11:00am?
You were wasted and fell in a pond when you met him, it's not like you were on top of your game
at least the cop wrote "happy birthday" on the ticket.
I am actually insulted by the long string of ugly, fat girls he hooked up with after me.
I'm on my way, but at some point we're going to have to settle who gave who crabs the last time
Just be aware that next year I will probably try to seduce you to avoid going to the gym
The lady at the liquor store in my hometown just gave ran around the corner and gave me a hug when I came back from being gone for a couple months. My life is complete.
Did you make it home alright?
No I'm sitting under a tree by a cricket. He's alone crying out for someone to Fuck him. This guy gets me.
You were like a drunk and unconscious tickle me elmo.
I ACCIDENTALLY MURDERED MY COUSIN
HOW DO YOU ACCIDENTALLY MURDER YOUR COUSIN
just because he was passed out beside the toilet, didn't give you tge right to pee on him
my aim is off when im drunk
Randomize
