i just saw her new tattoo, how much more trashy can you get than having "taste the rainbow" on your body for the rest of your life?
Trying to figure out if I'm the second dude she hooked up with yesterday. I feel like a consolation prize
I puked all over his apartment, then slept with the skinniest girl here. Which isn't saying much in Ohio.
He asked if I wanted to "hang out"
A verb which here means "do lines off my dick"
walk of shame into the pharmacy with a busted up chin and laughing the lady at the counter rolled her eyes at me when I asked for the morning after pill.
Made out with a girl in a wheelchair and rode her around while I was blackout. On a new level.
I was dressed as bob Ross as this occurred
I thought the cops would know I was on shrooms because I was 10ft tall.
Um of course I blew him. He brought me a shamrock shake. It was two o’clock in the morning on St. Patrick’s Day. There was no smoother move basically. He totally earned that head.
he tried to give me his business card but gave me his health insurance card then realized it and offered to take me to the strip club
Before we fucked we both mutually agreed not to tweet about it.
He sent me a picture of him trying to push his cock into a Gatorade bottle. I dont know if I'm impressed it didn't fit and disgusted that he sent me something so vile.
the fact that i came three times was completely negated by the fact that he high-fived himself after.
We discussed how many times we've passed out during sex. The answers may shock you.
I kicked down a wall in rage and found a door behind the drywall. Once again vandalism solves all my problems.
So someone just asked us for our kidneys?!?
Randomize