Even my Mr Clean Magic Eraser can't make last night disappear.
great, thanks for announcing that I gave you head over twitter
at least I said it was good
I am not deleting the internet history anymore, now I am going for shock value.
i just checked to make sure valentines day this year was on a weekend assuming ill want to be drunk all day
hearing about your life makes me feel so good about mine
I had to sleep with my math professor to pass algebra. Apparently my blowjobs are only C+ quality
he's werid. hell kiss me after i go down on him but he wont kiss me after i eat anything with mustard.
Get everyone out of their dorms and watch 3 girls do the walk of shame from my room.
i hope someone procrastinates by putting up the pics up...
sarah said she can't even post all of hers due to facebook indecency rules
Let the vodka take you where it will. Like Pocahontas, but wasted
she said she wouldn't go home with me until she looked up my name in her sex offender app. do i really give off that vibe?
Yeah. It's not just the beard either.
I'm at the local community college pretending to be a substitute for a computer applications class
Just described you as looking like "a very cute escapee from an Egyptian insane asylum"
If your night didn't end with writing a witness report for the cops at a shwarma place, your night was probably less interesting than mine.
I told him. He hasn't said anything. Crying and holding cats is probably what is happening.
How's work going?
Boring. I have a cat on a leash right now
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