In honor of tonight, my penis will make an appearance
Maybe if you date her you can take a dump on her
Mac n' cheese is coming out of my nose. You can't make that feel better
while we were having sex she stopped and said, "god is always watching". Then she started again with no other words said. We were fucked up.
If he can forgive your lousy blowjobs, you can ignore his terrible driving.
She's a freaking stalker dude, it's like having some kind of cartoon animal just following around everywhere
I got kicked out of the hotel after wandering into the banquet kitchen at 2am trying to find the shrimp....so we're power napping in the car and then driving to madison.
I yelled out look at all those hickeys. And then gave her boyfriend a high five
Really uncomfortable with the level of eskimo brotherhood at this family reunion
I'm going to miss hockey season. It was the best excuse to get drunk on a Tuesday night.
I pulled up iMessage on my computer and I'm pretty sure two people in my class saw that dick pic you sent. Sorry!
Sex aside I am really scared about Syria...
Apparently the cops had to handcuff me in order to get me to come with to the hospital with them. They asked me if I had had any experience with handcuffs before and I replied, "Only in bed." What a life
I did put on a shirt to start the night, right?
I am certain that you would be a mere freckle on the behemoth of slutty that has taken place at this complex.
Randomize
