Totally saw a hot amputee. I think this is called character growth.
She ordered a salad and a budweiser. I love her.
worst night to have a conscience
I don't call you at 3 in the morning to start a fucking relationship.
She crushed my hand with the box spring last time, so it's all good.
I have a meeting at work in an hour, I'm so hungover going outside is NOT happening there are roads and shit I'll totally get myself killed.
Your friends turned off our power in the basement and when we went to turn it back on I got sprayed in the face with a fire extinguisher. FYI.
We ended not having sex. I didn't want to explain that I was wearing a Unitard because all my socks and underwear were dirty.
She found my wedding ring, sallowed it and wished me good luck explaining it to my wife before walking out. Now what?
I just accidentally hit share on pornhub... Probably the scariest moment of my life
Like I actually don't feel all that great but the fact that I'm not projectile vomiting at work makes life seem so magical
I wouldn't call that a crush. It was more of a minor brain aneurism.
Also, fucking on half deflated air mattresses is a great full body work out.
He kept screaming "I am the thunder!" when he was riding me.
My brain is like a TV with 10 channels, 9 of them are static and the other one just plays that one Nagito Komaeda edit on loop 24/7
Randomize
