IM NOT LETTING YOU PEE ON ME IF THATS WHAT YOURE GETTING AT.
you yelled "you will never make love to jesus" and then ran into the tv.
honestly i just want a cigarette and someone to go down on me... are you interested in helping with either of those
My boobs are feeling quite sensitive so I told them, " you is smart, you is kind, you is important" that should do the trick.
After you threw up you would repeatedly say "napkin" like a siren until somebody got you a fucking napkin.
The blow job award ceremony was a little much. You guys didn't need to call out what happened the night before.
What? How can you say that? You won!
So apparently when I'm drunk and want water I pant like a dog and expect to have water given to me..
Update - might be back in your neighbor's good graces. She liked the framed photo I gave her of me on the tractor with my business out.
I washed my sheets. I did out of respect for my previous and current sexual partners.
Blowing lines in the bathroom and trying to get into the mindset of someone who wants to be at work for 12 hours
I cuddled with a man named Pickles
I just don't understand why your parents aren't supporting your dreams of being a medieval weapon smith.
Please wake up and help me figure out how I woke up on the floor with my head under the couch
snapping my married booty call and next thing I know a plan b ad pops up
gonna stay in tonight
and im a platypus. shotgun a beer and get your dick to this party. ive got some hot friends visiting
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