I hate myself for knowing the words to party in the USA.
i just found a bag of weed behind my capital one card. i guess that's what's in my wallet.
I wasted my skinny years on you. The least you can do is high five me at the bar
Playing the biology drinking game in my 8am. Drink everytime he says species or organism. I love st. Patricks day
all I remember is repeatedly winking at the fire marshall while he was counting the people in the bar
I used puppy pads next to the couch for her to throw up on....
Moment of the night: you were impatient while I paid for the tequila shots and proceeded to lick and salt MY hand for me. This is why we're roommates.
So yeah she lost her virginity in a wheel chair with a broken pelvis. I'm still trying to figure out how I should feel about that.
Also- bikini mowing was a horrible idea. One truck just drove by 3 times, turning around at the end of the block each time. My tan may be better for it but my conscience has been raped.
I used my yoga mat as a door stop so he couldn't come into my room when i was sleeping last night. Drunk engineering at its finest
Oh yeah, found out i got it from my boyfriend's wife. Thanks though.
Ugh he's so pretty though. He bit my face at the bar because I tried to steal his ID and I forgave him
At what part of the night did you guys leave?
After my hot tub cannonball.
Well I'm over here squandering a fabulous hair day and radiant complexion
Snorted a dorito chip for 1$. Cross that off the bucket list.
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