Until that no good dick sucking whore stays away from my boyfriend I am gonna start blowing all of his friends...
So the "just a friend" kid confessed his love for me...sometimes I hate how awesome I am.
so it turns out, not only do the doormen judge the girls I bring home, but they rate them.
Ya know, I lied. I wouldn't mess with him. Not because of the crazy/rehab issues... but because he wears tank-tops.
My dick just stopped my iPhone from falling into the toilet.
...just for future reference, one Four Loko can fits PERFECTLY in a venti iced coffee cup from Starbucks
no, no, no. omg. i said i wanted a SANDWICH! not a picture of your dick. damn cant you read? SANDWICH! now im blinded. great job.
I don't know how, but he made a bong out of a hamster wheel. To say I am impressed is an understatement.
You better wipe the dick of your lips before you come smoke this blunt.
If you asked me 10 years ago where I thought I'd be today, I can pretty much guarantee I wouldn't have replied with "buying hemorrhoid cream on Bourbon St at 7am"
My boobs love her too. She makes them feel important even though they're small
I just need you to stay far enough away that I can't smell your cologne. I completely forget that I fucking hate you as soon as I smell it.
A+ Viking dick
just saw a kid waiting at the door of the stairs for the elevator. there is no elevator in this building. get on his level.
The blonde cop looked at my license and told me I better have be home when her shift ends
I hate you
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