Last night we hooked up in nothing but out UK shirts during half time. Never say I'm not a dedicated fan again.
see if i had a dick i'd definitely smack people in the face with it
...and all my boxers are outside in the snow because????
I concluded last night that you have no tear ducts, heart, or sense of any feeling.
Like hey, "you just spent $135k to go to a nobody law school to drive a mini van, be a dj, live in a smalllll ass apartment that smells like cats and your girlfriend fucks other guys."
Hey he's not bad, although he did have a glass eye
YOU KNOW BRAZILIAN BOYS ARE MY WEAKNESS
My boob is missing a layer of skin
Like 50% of me thinks it'll be weird, 25% of me is curious & 25% of me is horny
But now I'm just thinking when he said he "worked for the airline" he actually meant drug smuggling.
I know you're on a date and I should leave you alone but about twenty minutes ago I realized I haven't been spanked in years so if you're still looking for a birthday present, you know, consider it.
Yeah, last night in the parking lot was hot. I'm sure whoever has the surveillance tapes thinks so too.
We were cuddling in his bed and I asked him a question and followed by making a microphone with my hand and told him to speak into it. If he never talks to me again that's probably why.
On a scale of 1 to 10 how good of an idea would it be to pregame at the airport right now
Ten
Like sorry your dick won’t suck itself?
Randomize
