very cute, but more "I wanna put you in my pocket and keep you as a pet" and less "please bang me" type of cute.
I thought she would fill the void you created. Turns out she thought I just wanted to fill hers.
i have a reoccuring irrational fear i'm going to walk in on my dad masterbating. Night.
I like to think that tonight was Jesus punishing James Cameron for his role in popularizing "My Heart Will Go On."
she has her graduation year in her skype name, it's like a constant reminder that she's jail bait.
She had one drink in her cleavage and another in her hand. She kept rotating between the two by leaning backward and then sipping the one in her hand.
Good. I hope they all got E.Coli from snorting coke off of some homeless prick's asshole.
I'm currently trying to decide if crown or wild turkey will hurt worse coming back out through my nose later.
The cops just showed up and arrested her. It's our 2nd date. Do I have to hang out her with her 3 kids until she makes bail or can I leave?
Omg, those nutella cakes are heavenly, like licking the nipples of a muscular black Jesus.
EVERYTHING IS DISNEY. Even my sexting can lead to Disney.
Can we just cry and dive into a couch-sized bag of sadness-chips, dip them in a la-z-boy sized jar of depression salsa while watching a show called 'Forget Your Hopes and Dreams, Just Kill Yourself'?
Have you ever got so drunk that you tasted the future?
I have a sixth sense for large penises and lack of morals
I'm excited for him and his new girlfriend. I'm just going to miss his penis is what I'm saying.
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