Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(210): View more from Texas

Hey it's Austin.

(254): View more from Texas

I am not drunk enough for this conversation.

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(540): View more from Virginia

i don't mind that he's uncut. i like it! it's like a little sweater!

(804): View more from Virginia

a cock doensn't need a sweater! especially a skin sweater! wtf.

(804): View more from Virginia

That's like some buffalo bill hannibal lector shit.

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(360): View more from Washington

He just brought me a wine glass. Full of Tequila. Ignore any texts after this one.

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(402): View more from Nebraska

Dude at the bar last night came into the bathroom, drop kicked the stall open and start saying lines from happy Gilmore as he was shitting, "go in your home! Are you too good for your home?!"

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(312): View more from Illinois

My boss spotted an injured PIGEON outside the front door this morning (at 3:30am) and requested that I catch it and take it to the vet. Catch it with what! Take it where!These requests have gone too far...

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