margs and chips and queso make the world go round
well and inertia
end the night at a gay bar...not sure how...but why the fuck do i have two condoms in my pocket?
wasted. watching meteors, awesome idea i ever had, see 2 for every 1 with ma double vision
NEWS FLASH: A bottle of wine can fit into a taco bell cup.
Fucking freshmen need to learn how to puke in the bushes outside the dorm and not in the fucking elevator.
Just used your umbrella as a puke sheild. Thanks man.
tonight were gonna drink champagne and watch girls put themselves in awkward position
We took it as we must go to waffle house or else we will upset the gods.
What can i say, i'm an artist. I think deep thoughts. In between the homoerotica and pterodactyl noises
I AM NOT THE MAN IN THIS RELATIONSHIP.
It's shit like this that makes people think we're gay.
my parents have to start far too many of our conversations with the sentence "this is an observation, not a judgment" than I'm proud of
pssssst. you dropped everyone else off and forgot about me. im in the backseat of your car still. can you please come back outside and either let me out or take me home?
Anyway, all that to say that tiny penises are a hassle.
He fucked me in one of the back rooms at the club then gave me an altoid. I have mixed feelings about it still.
If sleeping with your boss doesnt scream job security i dont know what does.
Randomize