I feel like abortions should bother me more
Please don't tell anyone I peed on your wall.
john hughes is dead. crushing any and all dreams of me ever being in an 80's john hughes film. bummer.
u downloaded tardy 4 the party
then u started screaming about not wanting nene on the record
Just dropped $150 at the liquor store. No power and two feet of snow has taken my alcoholism to another level.
So, I picked up my 7 ft tall lamp post and used it to close my door. I feel quite accomplished.
not saying it was a bad idea to throw an impromptu party but someone stole the microwave
I went to pick my brother up downtown and I stopped at a red light a homeless old man comes up knocks on the window shows me his penis and then screams money
Also I feel that I would be a hell of a sled dog operator.
jen just told me ur idea of revenge was saluting while letting his bong float away while attached to some balloons.
I just went through the Wendy's drive thru only wearing a towel. My life has hit an all time low
I'm pretty sure i doubled the number of dicks I've ever touched, last night.
Someone fucked a stripper in their rental car, there is goddamn glitter everywhere.
If you need me I'll be in the hospital involving super glue and fake eyelashes.
I could be doing way worse things besides texting him 'come over and bang my headache away'. i could be on meth
Randomize
