I wanna put my baby in that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ew you even made it your fb status
Ppl probably think ur having a kid
I hope
Love having children with random chicks
I am officially superior to you. I said "Go Go Gadget Dick" before I fucked her. I dare you to beat that.
My birthing hips are way to big to be around all these juveniles.
Guess what I'm doing tomorrow?
Becoming a productive member of society?
Sam. Come on.
At least you're going to bed with all the teeth you woke up with
Just bought plan B with a coupon. Told the pharmacist I like to keep it classy.
Every day you talk to me ... I literally love you more..
It's a good thing i didn't end up pregnant...i would have had to figure out his last name.
Just saw a drunk guy clapping and cheering for a chipmunk climbing up a tree. Classic
found a hand written recpiet for 'one doe fawn' on an open crate in my living room need help to find it
where the hell would u of bought a deer
I will give you all my nachos to make this happen
I just want a sensitive guy who will get drunk with me then take me out to steal things. Is that too much to ask?
You must take up my position now. You must pass out in awkward places as I taught you... Sears a hotel elevator and Burger King bathroom. You potential for greater young grasshopper.
Both guys that I'm dating were waiting for me in the parking lot after work. Literally the most awkward situation I have ever been in
He made me tacos after the sex. Best date ever!
Now the fun stuff starts.
Someone is losing a finger.
Randomize
