even if everyone didnt know them screaming eskimo brothers and high fiveing over my head kinda gave it away
all of your clothes are in the front law. btw..sprinklers go on in 20 minutes
& he told me 'I don't think ur a big slut-just kind of an average slut'
HE THINKS THATS A COMPLIMENT!!!!!
listening to the two girls in the next stall finish a 40 and laugh at this guy they both fucked. they're calling him 'tulip dick'.
She just threw the soap bottle at me from the ladie's room and keeps asking me when we left the bar and got on the boat.
You're fine
I'm hiding in my chest because my walls smell weird. I'm not fine.
if creating a fake 8 year old brother, who lives with me and has had mono for the past month, to explain why I have ignored my group project members is wrong, then I... well then I'm probably going to hell
My pubes were yanked out by the root when they got caught in the condom. I think it's time for a bikini wax.
If you're not peeing in public bi-monthly, you're not really living.
Time to eat Mexican food til I hate myself.
That's completely alright, I do it a lot.
My penis is saying yes, several less important organs are saying noo...
Didn't you used to babysit him?
18 years ago I helped him into his clothes. Today he helped me out of mine.
I saw a spider on my bed and my first reaction was to throw my weed bag to safety
Tempted to tell the Titos promoters at this bar that they are doing the lords work.
This is Ryan, Kristin's husband. I don't know if you meant to send that pic to me at 3am. You may want to call Kristin. Neat piercing though.
Randomize
