Asian hipster sighting. About to tackle him and ask him to take me to chinatown
He should be on Bizare Foods after who he ate last night
She wanted to test if her costume allows her to still have sex in it. It does
finally achieved: got laid in the religion section of borders. thought you should know.
When i tried to give you something that wasn't tequila...like water....you kept saying it was against your religion.
I've always been the spiritual type.
ok, just found out the kid i had random sex with in April was on wheel of fortune so i can really no longer say i regret that night
Count me out. I seem to have semen induced blindness in one eye.
I hope I take a shit on your face in your dreams tonight.
Lazier than spoon feeding yourself popcorn and debating adult diapers so you don't have to leave the mentalist marathon on tv?
I tried to convince the Lobo Card people to take my pic with my sunglasses on because I will probably always be this hungover.
And I'd make him talk dirty to me. In Forrest Gump's voice.
Just jerked off with bubble wrap. Not as awesome as it sounds.
I want to get up and tell you that smells delicious but I'm struggling with the idea of pants
I just saw a girl drinking wine and walking her dog in footie pajamas and a mad hatter hat. First day of the new year and I think I'm in love.
I feel like you should put up a missed connections ad for this..
He totally fucked me in his Chewbacca socks
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