Heard it's your birthday. I can't send pictures, but go ahead and imagine my balls.
I just filled out my 2010 Census drunkenly. I'm single handedly throwing it off.
I just decorated my birth control case with Lisa Frank stickers. If that doesn't scream 'I'm not ready for babies' I don't know what does.
I HAVE FLAVORED BLOW. THIS SHOULD NOT EXISIT.
I really hope our interview with channel 6 last night doesn't air or else my parents are gona get a first hand look at my alcohol problem
There will be two dogs there to provide supervision. Not to worry.
did she really put a helmet on, try to make a hole in the wall then pass out on the floor ten minutes later? if thats true ill be there in 15
She has either a C-Section scar or a bullet wound, I can't quite tell
First time at a gay bar. I found a surrogate AND sperm donor! The surrogate is straight, so it evens out.
For context, I was hiding under the pong table mooing at everyone by that point.
she's a nursing student, i didn't think vomit would freak her out so much
you puked ON HER
It was like a square peg in a round hole... I've never seen one shaped like a stick of butter...
Stocking up on Wasabi powder. Nobody's tampons are safe.
He just said "I know you want my cock" and I said nah. I want food bro
Ran into my FWB on my walk of shame and went back to her place. Even my walk of shames are awesome!!!
Randomize
