omg. I had the wrong window open and I accidentaly posted my credit card # on twitter
Whats your twitter name
it actually wasnt that awkward...i planned on saying hello and walking away..then she asked if i wanted to go to lunch and i looked at her chest and said absolutely
I have glitter on my penis. Do you know anything about this?
im still trying to figure out who put the honey mustard in the blender then put the entire blender into the freezer
Who just wakes up in their own bed and assumes "I probably blew some guy last night"
It Amazes me that I was able to drunk update my status in Spanish last night.
Tell him I thought his Superman stand on your bed and cum all over your back was quite funny
That hot guy i showed you guessed my exact bra size. I want to have his tan babies.
my memory may be fuzzy, but the 20+ naked pictures I sent him were surprising clear
I spent $31 at mcdonalds last night. Threw my nuggets all over the yard, ate them out of the snow, picked a fight about it, vomited, then passed out.
Naked.
the fact that i came three times was completely negated by the fact that he high-fived himself after.
oh. oh my god. i just had lunch with my mom with semen still on my face.
I feel as if some line has been crossed, but only in this vague, WTF sort of way.
He literally lured me in the house with his cat then we ended up fucking on the living room couch while the cat just sat there and watched
Last night I realized my life is an experiment of really bad decisions when I had to leave without my underwear. But at least I'm expanding my life experience.
Randomize
