I'm watching ellen!
just because im gay does not mean you need to notify me every time you watch the ellen degeneres show
i just hugged the lady at the liquor store goodbye for the summer...
You guys crashed sarahs vespa into a snowbank and its still there. not cool.
It was fun until the stripper told me it was her first day and started crying.
P.S. I just watched The Muppets. I feel like I just got a sadness enema.
Well, I found my bra. It's in my glove compartment with a half-eaten Snickers bar and a Jesus bookmark.
No. Mother. Fucking. Jello shots. Just no. I'm not falling into that trap again.
I had to wash my hair with conditioner because my sister got hammered and gave the dog a 3am sprinkler bath with my shampoo.
I'll be in my room with a breakfast burrito at 2:30. It's up to you...
I was sat at the table waiting with a glass of wine reading my book and the hotel staff gave me a goldfish in a bowl and said 'heres your date for the night' !
Cooked. Eating pizza. Didn't have a napkin so I took my shirt off and I'm using it.
We sexted for four hours straight. Is this really what my life has come to?
I have a burn on my hand, I'm covered in bruises, I think my toe is broken, and I have no clothes to wear home.
I just thought you should know... Instead of a glass of wine before bed I am having a few shots of 1800. This is what being a night shift nurse will do to you... Standing in your kitchen in your undies doing shots
Remember how I was complaining about how no guy has ever gotten me off?
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