We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
Is showing up wearing the condom a bit presumptus
You can't hide fat with big sunglasses.
Well, according to foursquare I checked in "@under the bushes" at 3:27am. This could explain some things.
Your therapist is not going to think that you using your vagina as revenge is okay
I walked into his room and he was naked with a half eaten pecan pie and a bottle of wine.
We're playing a drinking game to 'how to train your dragon'. has it really come to this?
Well I just walked into a wedding reception and im currently eating a cannoli in the men's room while pissing
I'm sure we could go all project runway on our diapers and create some flattering absorbent thongs. We could do it on the Boat. Call it project rumway.
He showed up to a baby shower and kept telling everyone he was late because he was pregaming. And then tried honking the pregnant girls tits
His flight is delayed. Mother Nature is delaying me from sex.
In unrelated news guys should not ask what I'm doing/wearing if they can't handle an honest answer. I'm not pretending I'm not sitting on the couch in yoga pants watching Community so you can beat off.
Last night was great... In the "I got videotaped making out and getting a handjob on the couch in front of 100 people." kinda way.
Man, I'm never going tanning again he noticed the burns on my ass
The neighbor just poured gasoline on his 2 brush fires and proceeded to shoot Roman candles at them 🤔
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