The night began with "let go home early so we can study for my 9am final" and ended with "show me your boobs for a free pack of gum".My breasts are worth 14 sticks for a dollar.
I let some guy put hot sauce in my asshole for his birthday
we fucked while standing on a ladder. challenging, but worth it.
test run with donkey pinata disastrous. broken glass and tequila EVERYWHERE
by the way- Brandy out of a doggy bowl was AMAZING
I didn't ride the struggle bus so much as drive it backwards off a cliff.
You crossed every boundary on the boundary spectrum last night. You're like the illegal immigrant of drunk actions. No more holiday drinking for you.
I imagine I kinda look like a banana with one boob out.
151 hangover. Need apocalypse.
I'm drinking your booze since you ate my pop-tarts. I'm telling you this because I still don't think it's a fair trade.
We bought a pool from walmart at 2am...and to make matters even more white trash we headed to Applebee's for half off appetizers and corona-ritas
I'm about to ride on a tractor i have no time for you
you can't get cum all over my hair and then tell me you just want to be friends
My hair tie broke, stole my one-night stands daughters pink sparkly one. BEST hair-tie I have ever used...
Just fucked my ex's brother. It is clear I dated the wrong one. Is it wrong for me to continue to fuck this one?
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