ur dog is so gonna tell on us one day.
for doing what?
for smoking bowls out on the deck while your parents aren't home.
what if every blade of grass was a penis?
I'm reciting my presentation (beer in hand) on the porch to a snowmen audience.
Yeah, sam & jessica were trying to have sex and you walked in & started coaching them through it with a fake hulk hogan mustache on.
The bellhop gave us weed in our keycard envelop. We went down to tip him and he apparently never gets that so he just gave us more weed. Kentucky is strange
HELP A SISTER OUT. AND KEEP YOUR TONGUE OUT OF THE HUMMUS.
TOO HIGH TO FIGURE THIS SHIT OUT
Sorry I need more motivation then McDonalds and mojitos.
The cleaning lady even cleaned my bong. I'm scared to open my sex toy drawer and see if and how she organized it
I just paid for weed by taking him to the store to buy cheese so he could make empanadas. Best. Drug deal. Ever.
I think he just tried to put your boyfriend in a trashcan....
The spirit of America is being too hungover to celebrate America right?
If you ever feel goofy just think of the fact that I just shaved the batman symbol into my pubes
I don't care if he's the coolest coworker, if he's living in his mom's basement at 30 you should not buy drugs from him
According to my bank account I spent a penny some where
Yeah but now he has a wife. It’s going to be different this year
So what. We’ve banged every Thanksgiving since high school. She just has to understand it’s a holiday tradition
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