Am I the only person who thinks Megan Fox looks totally like a Thai lady boy with a serious tanning bed fix?
he wouldnt have sex with me because his guild had a misson on world of warcraft.
Currently looking for a new liver on ebay. Struggle.
where does the pee come out of this thing
biggest mistake ever: halloween 2009
Ive never seen someone more dtf than a soaking wet drunk girl who stumbles into your backyard.
It's like the Sean Connery of vaginas. You don't mess with it.
You spend 45 minutes trying to convince that pregnant girl you were with all night to have sex with you cause 'the worst had already happened.'
Still burping lighter fluid. Totally awful.
They don't allow McDonald's in the ER. Go figure
Dude, did you fall in a toilet on the way over here?
Was face down in one actually. Bars 2, Drew 0.
I'm back in the dating scene now... Since the legality issue calmed down. And my stalking charges were dropped.
I forgot my backup drink is supposed to be pedialyte and vodka. Add in the shit I'm losing as I drink. Win-Win right?
just bought myself a "your about to get violated in every way so you deserve this chipotle" steak bowl.
My one night stand from last weekend is now taking me on a date this weekend. How is this my life?
Randomize
