Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
I woke with a ring of glitter around my dick.... I kinda don't want to wash it off
i was concerned by what you said you would do for a snickers. It wasn't even a Klondike bar.
Just saw a picture of your new tub, cant wait to pee in it
It' a whole new level of walk of shame. I'm carrying his sheets since I have a washer/dryer.
cheese fries, coffee, with a side of dry heaving in the bathroom at the diner on campus at 5am. never felt better.
You stuck a chicken finger in that stripper's clevage and said "Keep this warm for me.
This guy just asked me to stab his arm with my keys to make sure he wasn't dying.
I'll feed you vitamin c from my mouth this weekend. Like a baby bird.
Promise??
GET ME OUT OF HERE THE DOCTOR KNOWS HE IS JUDGING ME I DEMAND A PRISON BREAK
Your clever response has earned you a blow job this week
How do you ask the man who gives you multiple orgasms if he has friends who could do the same for your friend?
"fuck it, let's do moonshine" shouldn't be in ANYONE'S vocabulary.
Question: how does one descretely ask the ice cream truck driver thats out at 10:00pm if he sells weed?
The abomination is in progress. At least one barista side eyed me and the other has fear in her eyes
Randomize
