Ugh now I'll have to carry around an overnight bag to all the bars I visit tonight. but hey! maybe I'll meet a dude! And need it!
i watch way too much csi for them to even pretend to be my friend.
just turned my empty handle of passion fruit smirnoff into a fish bowl. I love college.
she carries around a jar of peanut butter. "just in case".
It may be that your sole purpose in life is simply to serve as a warning to others..
will you please explain to me as to why or how i have a dirtbike tread looking bruise on my back?
Whoevers house this is has only beer and cream cheese in the fridge. Thats the diet im gonna go on
being a senior sucks, I just started embracing my inner slutty college girl, and it's almost time to put her away...for like, ever. and i really like her.
I still can't believe he came down from his hiding place in the tree voluntarily because he didn't want us to have to talk to the cops alone...
I'm high and I have a consensual booty call on the way and just thought that it was a good time to let you know that I think that you are a stellar person.
Friends don't let friends go vibrator shopping alone.
don't bring your nerd jargon into this conversation about my naked body
Like I'm not tryna become president or marry a doctor or some shit here, like one level above garbage is all I'm asking for
Haha! I swear, it's like I'm talking to Buddha with a slutty agenda. You are so full of wisdom.
i now regret my decision on turning down your offer of sex in the backseat
Randomize
