i fell off the bed in the middle of it, and he yelled "5 second rule" and kept fucking me. i think im in love
Your mom can still drink beer standing on her head! Talk to you tomorrow :)
Mom wtf!?
HOnestly. That's my one goal for this whole trip. I don't give a shit about souvenirs or sand. I want penis.
her facebook pictures are like a timeline of all the guys she's screwed.
They don't exactly give out small business loans to start-up dealers
I came home to the cats covered in paint and he was asleep in the tub with a firefighters hat on.
He threw up in a cup in the limo and when he got out the bouncer told him he couldn't bring drinks in so he gave the glass to that dumb girl we brought with us from c street.
I know, she tried to drink it
Just a smidgen more estrogen and shed be golden
She's got a legit dose of dude going on
No kidding. All she needs is a cheek full of chewing tobacco and I'd have fucked John wayne.
No work today. I woke up and someone had written "Markhot Penis = Party" on my forehead in sharpie. Do you know a Mark?
I DONT UNDERSTAND NIPPLES. THEY JUST POP OUT FOR NO REASON
Well somebody's had a rough day, nipple-wise
how do you ask an olympian for your underwear back?
did i get sucker punched in the face last night or was our make-out session just that intense?
Dude, Kevin called the cops on the cops.
Family acid trip. They're welcoming me into the family.
What. The. Fuck.
Family acid trip.
AMAZON SELLS SEX SWINGS!
Randomize
