bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
yeah she was being a bitch. do you remember me stealing ryan cabrerra's beer?!?!
He tried to carry her to her room after she passed out, but when he picked her up she came back to, saw him, screamed rape and pulled out her vuvuzela app and blasting it like a rape whistle.
I found out what happened to that girls weave last night. It was draped over a bush in my backyard.
I have discovered that there is nothing that a giant penis attached to a southern accent can't talk me into. yee-haw!
I'm eating Doritos that I crushed up n put in a cup so I only have to chill minimally.
I am here to underwhelm you with my vagina
i repeatedly had to ask him if he was into this because he kept talking about random things while i jerked him off. i got annoyed and in order to annoy him back, i told him i wanted to watch him do it. he also talked about basketball WHILE cumming. NEVER AGAIN.
The candles are lit, the magic circle is drawn, now all we need to do is get naked and see how many orgasms we can manage.
These are the things that make me so grateful... that I slept with your sister instead.
This reminds me of the time you were crying and puking in the toilet at that party while i did shots of tequila in between blow drying your feet. miss you!
You sending me our unborn, unfertilized babies' names is not what I envisioned when you said you'd "drunk text me later".
We were dancing and then he pointed to the club floor and there was money that I dropped everywhere. That was the nicest thing someone has ever done for me.
A black cat walked my drunken ass home last night and made sure I made it back into the apartment safe. Sat with me for 30 minutes as I struggled to unlock the door. Guardian angel or drunken hallucinations?
You were telling everyone in the bar that Jess gave you scurvy.
Randomize
