Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
Did you see Brett Michaels get knocked on his ass?
Hurt me personally.
Knocked his cowboy hat off... Bandanna was still good though
i hate when u poo a lot and when u wipe theres no poopy residue on the TP. it makes me feel like my butt hole is hiding something from me. just had 2tell sum1.
He got me an interview at his law firm and his boss asked him what he had to say about me. His response "He dates CRAZY bitches."
I honestly wish you had parked the car in the terminal garage and fucked me in the backseat but I guess I should be more forward
We literally played a game called pass the child which consisted of us shitfaced tossing the 5 year old birthday boy at each other
Fran... I put my tongue in somebody's gage hole last night.
Come on. I'll make you hot pockets. Literally and sexually.
His roommates came in and started a dance party in his room while we were having sex. He said it wasnt the first time.
I don't know how Dave is alive, I feel like he's been drinking since I met him.
If I get laid tonight it will 1.) Prove that the sex gods do in fact exist, and 2.) Show that I am one motherfucking badass bitch.
Honestly I really just want to do you in the mail truck. Thought about it a lot today
So I had Xanax for breakfast & I'm probably going to fuck my tennis instructor.
My vagina measures dicks. It's accurate to the half inch.
She shit herself again. We're calling her the "Queen of Sharts".
Randomize
