I thought she was going to get passionate and throw her on the bed and fuck her, but she just started breaking stuff.
That's the thing about women.
Mines from giving head on hardwood floors.
stuffed animals make me feel really maternal.
this homeless guy just told me to make a wish on his magic plastic spoon but said to be careful what i wish for...
I think I just made patron unclassy I bought limes at a gas station and for salt we are using gas station packets of salt
My doc was like ur only supposed to have 6 sexual partners..thats just one semester at college
A 21st bday and NYE should be illegal to have in the same week...
i've got to stop sleeping with short guys. they always turn into stage 5 clingers
She was doing lines off of her friends boobs in the limo at 9 oclock on a thursday This has the potential to be the best weekend ever
I just told my sister I love her. I'm in no condition to drive.
The fact that he grabbed my boob in the middle of the conversation shows something needs to change
Let's learn from last year: Leave the handcuffs at home on St Patrick's Day.
Do what? I was just saying that at some point there's a chance I'll have a boner. Think of it like a guessing game. "Does he have one now?"
He burnt his arm on the grill, then turned around and started blaming it on the burger buns...I think it's safe to say he's drunk.
He yelled "Go Ducks" while he came
Randomize
