i just went through and liked all 1,239 of her pictures instead of writing my english paper. don't tell her, i want her to be surprised
The mexican place next the the funeral home has dollar margaritas, our grandfather would want us to act on this... trust me i know.
I've never been so happy to start my period. I'm gonna let everyone in the store see me buying tampons.
We were all singing so you said you were going to play a percussion instrument... the crackers.
he called you a drunk bob the builder and you proceeded to explain how you were going to build ramps throughout the house
If its allowed to Tornado at 830am then Im allowed to have a beer and a cigarette at 830am
I'm smoking a bowl with matches and a candle while my mother washes dishes downstairs. I thought adulthood was supposed to be different.
Your smile makes me feel like I'm frolicking through a field of gummy bears.
I'm still me, I just happen to have things in my porn library that you may not have expected
Only you would come out as bi like that
I had to hypnotize my roommate last night so there's that.
I had no idea he had such passive aggressive animalistic tendencies. This is the human equivalent of peeing on someone.
For an hr, you were convinced you no longer had a right arm so you played Super Mario Bros with just your left hand vs Beth. You won btw, mite b why she refused to wear the unicorn head
Playing Cards Against Humanity with my relatives at Christmas while I'm stoned was a bad idea...
The only reason you haven't shit yourself yet is because you don't like having fun.
I honestly have no desire to wear clothes around you
I have that affect on people
Randomize
