did you make any bad decisions?
many, i pretty much fell in love with a freshman...it doesn't get much better than that
I didn't mean to leave you there I just didn't know him well enough to throw up in his bathroom.
I was handcuffed to a girl for half-an-hour. And I'm still the only one in the house who didn't get laid.
he had a dikembe mutombo jersey on, was swatting peoples drinks out of their hand and wagging his finger in their face everytime he did it.
I'm pretty sure I have a cold now from having sex on the hood of my car in the rain. Worth it? Absolutely.
isn't that the guy who always buys you drinks?
yeah. i love a man who still buys me drinks after the bar cuts me off.
next time on intervention
I woke up at 3am, my head in a toilet, still at the kegger, wearing a random cowboy hat.
We were sitting in a hot tub debating how drunk we could get by osmosis if we kept spilling our drinks in it. This is what engineering college does to you.
also somebody did cough syrup and i was really worried but i couldn’t express why properly so i was like MACKLEMORE SAYS NO
this is a preemptive text before you call me freaking out: i have your keys and your car is parked safely a block down from your apartment.
you are a goddess
Letting Freddy Krueger eat me out = HAPPY HALLOWEEN TO ME!!!
So I came to the conclusion that who ever pour my ever clear out saved my life
My debit card was between my ass cheeks when i woke up. i vaguely remember putting it there for safe keeping
I'm sorry, but the bed has won this battle. I got up, changed my shirt, combed my hair, put on some deodorant, and then looked at my bed and got back in
His mom just pulled off a quadruple cockblock. I'm not sure if I'm mad or impressed?
Randomize
