1. Mark my dj buddy and I spent $1000 on bottles last night
2. We were casually offered narcotics while walking down the street
3. I will still be awake when you start school tmw, cause there's no last call
So if any tells you miami is the same as the rest of america, there are just lying to you
Kris Allen: Jason Mraz mixed with John Mayer and a splash of orgasmmm
I'm towing my little brother down the road on a sixty year old tractor, we're taking up the whole highway, and no one cares. I love South Dakota.
obviously you don't know the college version of myself. if there's something i'm ALWAYS willing to put up for it's alcohol.
FOUR LOKO IS YES. SUNDAY MORNING DRUNK IS YES.
we came up with a wnba drinking game. take a shot every play that you could've done better. won't make it through 1st quartar
I feel like jumping into a breast pit right now. Like the old school ball pits at mcdonalds.
I bought everclear. Bring your party pants and some addies
You're not gonna punch me in the face again are you?
From the same High Brittany who brought you such thoughts as, "Fuck, am I wearing shoes?" Comes High Brittany on a date! Stay tuned. This will be interesting.
Being able to fart in her presence and not be judged is why I pay half the rent.
I'm going to bed early so football can come sooner
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO BE A DRUNK WHEN ALL MY ENABLERS ARE BUSY?!
Got out of the uber to projectile vomit in the McDonald's drive thru. Gonna take a break from the Cuervo for a while.
God gave you your own nipples for a reason.
Yelled "don't taze me bro" as the police officer tazed me. Cross it off the list.
Randomize
