So after i got done, she went over and got out her gecko, I felt like I was in an X rated geiko commercial.
don't tell her this, but while we were doing it doggy style I picked up my phone and changed my status to "who let the dogs out"
I can't ever handle being "that girl" again. At least not until next semester.
you'll be glad to know I got kicked off the microphone at a bar in Breckenridge last night thanks to my country rendition of all star
Dude you have to stop using "I eat good pussy" as a pick up line
Since when does a beard not count as proof of age at the liquor store?
Now she's making me sit here and look at pictures of guys she likes who look like bears. She's calling them her bear friends.
It's been two weeks and I still have carpet burns on my knees. Well done.
He calls it "his noble steed" and i plan to ride it.
i cant wait to be back in my element of drunk, on a barstool, ive missed home
I need you to know that everytime my toddler does the downward facing dog in the nude I think about the night you and your dude fell in love.
He told me to be careful with the shrooms because he mostly had caps left. He sounded apologetic but that's the best news all week.
well i maturbated this morning, which means the best part of my day has already happened.
You gave me the best orgasm of my life. I'm buying you a house
For the record you're an amazing lay and you have great taste in breakfast sandwiches
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