the reason why you were crawling on your hands and knees from room to room last night was because you thought the ceiling fans were chasing you...
that makes sense.
I'd invite him but there's too many people who have fucked me going already
I think I've hugged the toilet more times than I've hugged my own family members.
He busted his lip while trying to keep from passing out in the pool. The hotel people don't seem to be too concerned that we're passing around a bottle of SoCo at 11 am.
Was rudely woken up by strangers at 4:15am. I was leaning against the stoplight at 9th
There was a community pot of Ramen, and if you were in the pool you were either fully clothes or ass naked.
I've got the dick your vagina needs, but not the one it deserves right now.
Hey, I think I showed you a picture of my nephew while we were fucking last night. Sorry, I know it's weird, I just really love that kid. Again, sorry.
We were all day drunk by 2pm. Now I know why they hate Americans
There may or may not be an ass shaped dent in the hood of my car. All I know is windshield wipers aren't as sturdy as you think to hold onto.
Sabotage it. Cum quick. Make it awkward so you don't hurt her feelings. Who says nice guys finish last?
he drove over two hours to fuck me and came in 3 minutes. he got mad when I asked him if it was worth it...
If dispatch calls for us tell them I'm having a significant emotional event in the restroom
shit... I double booked my fuck buddies
Like sometimes I’ll be hangry but for dick
Randomize
