I hope to God it wasnt poon. That odor was unnatural, it was satanic pussy.
she literally pooped in the closet. i sent the picture to everyone i know.
Thinking about bringing a vibrator to the tanning bed...kill two birds with one stone right?
You guys seriously fuck to bieber? That's embarrassing...
This girl told me she was a virgin the other day. I felt like I was talking to a unicorn.
You were in the garage half naked counting your ribs and talking about how you had too many
He leaned out the window to puke right as the fan for the ac turned on. All of it blew back up into his face.
how did the keg end up in the top bunk?
If I remember who won the superbowl tomorrow morning.. I think I'm just going to quit drinking. There really won't be a point anymore
You promised me a handle of vodka if I took home her ugly friend. Thanks to law class I took for the 2nd time I know that's a unilateral contract asshole
the coastal evacuation route ends at my vagina so you can just skip the bullshit and come over
You act like pregaming preseason hockey is a crime. Come on man, get fucked up and watch pucks. It rhymes so well it has to go together. DOS EQUIS Y DEVILS!
You bought champagne and told everyone it was because I'd just found out I was pregnant. How exactly is that being a good wingman?
So good news, aparently I blacked out and tried to go in the back of the mcdonalds to thank the people for makin my fries
last night we watched this really loud chick try and pick up this smoking french guy who's english was sooo bad. she finally pointed at her beer and then her vagine
gross
like you've never done an interperative dance for sex, please
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